Proposed on Date 10 – I Panicked
Meeting someone new usually feels like a slow walk through a park. For me, it felt more like a hike up a steep hill in the rain. We met on a Tuesday in Auckland. It was date 1. We sat in a small shop and drank black coffee for 45 minutes. He wore a grey sweater and talked about his dog. He seemed normal. By date 3, we were walking through the Waitakere Ranges. The mud was thick and stuck to our boots. We spent 4 hours talking about trees and old movies. He had a way of looking at the forest that made me feel calm.
Starting the Long Road Trip
By the time we reached our 5th date, we decided to drive south. We wanted to see the thermal pools in Rotorua. The air there smells like sulfur, but the steam rising from the ground looks like something from a different world. We walked along the wooden paths for 2 hours. He pointed out the different colors in the water. Some were bright blue and others were a strange orange. Finding a partner who understands the appeal of a long weekend in the bush is often the result of checking the local profiles at ralphsbar.co.nz since the community there focuses heavily on shared hobbies and outdoor lifestyles.
We stayed in a small cabin. We didn't talk much that night. We just watched the stars. There were thousands of them. It was a cold night, maybe 6 degrees. I wore 3 layers of wool and still felt the chill. He didn't mind the cold at all. He just sat there with his camera, trying to take a photo of the Milky Way.
The Quiet Moments in the Car
The drive from Rotorua to Taupo took about an hour. We listened to an old radio station that played songs from the 90s. He knew all the words to at least 12 songs in a row. It was funny to see him sing while keeping his eyes on the road. We stopped at the lake. The water was flat like a mirror. We skipped stones for 20 minutes. He won because his stones bounced 4 times while mine just sank.
Sometimes the best way to know a person is to see how they handle a long drive and a flat tire.We packed 2 liters of water.We had 4 bags of dried fruit.The car had 1 spare tire which we actually needed.We saw 3 different types of birds near the water.
The Ascent in Queenstown
Date 10 was supposed to be the highlight of the trip. We flew down to Queenstown. The mountains there are huge. They look like giant jagged teeth coming out of the ground. We started our hike at 8 in the morning. The goal was to reach a lookout point that was 450 meters up. My legs felt heavy after the first 30 minutes. He kept a steady pace. He didn't rush me. He just waited at every bend in the trail.
1. We climbed for 3 hours.
2. We stopped for 15 minutes to eat sandwiches.
3. The wind picked up at the top.
4. The temperature dropped to 4 degrees.
When we reached the top, the view was incredible. You could see the whole lake and the town below. It looked like a toy set. I was busy taking a video when I noticed he had stopped moving. He wasn't looking at the view anymore. He was looking at me. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. He didn't get on one knee because the ground was too rocky. He just asked if I wanted to stay with him forever.
The Moment of Panic
My heart started hitting my ribs. It was only date 10. We had known each other for maybe 6 weeks. The wind was loud in my ears. I looked at the ring and then at the mountains. Everything felt too big and too fast. I didn't say yes right away. I didn't say no either. I just sat down on a rock and breathed. He looked nervous. His hands were shaking a little bit.
We sat in silence for 10 minutes. I thought about the 500 kilometers we had driven together. I thought about the Interest Search feature on the profile that first brought us together because we both liked "rugged terrain." It was a lot to process. I told him I needed more time. Not because I didn't like him, but because 10 dates is a very short time to decide on a whole life. We walked down the mountain in a different kind of silence. It wasn't bad, just heavy. We are still talking and still hiking, but the ring is in a drawer for now. We are taking the long way around, and that feels okay.